What is an end-of-life doula?
You may have heard of a birth doula. End-of-life doulas, also known as death doulas or death midwives, provide practical, spiritual, and emotional support for people approaching death. They are able to offer resources, tools, and guidance in an area of life that does not come with a trail map. They excel in compassionate care, listening, open-mindedness, and acceptance, and offer these qualities to support and smooth the labor of death for clients and their loved ones.
This is a broad overview of the role of the death doula. If you are interested in more specific information, click the button below, or contact me directly.
The end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
T.S.Eliot
ABOUT ME
I am a certified, practiced end-of-life doula. I felt called to this work most of my life. I didn't fully realize the calling, but knew I was drawn to major life transitions, humanity, and experiences typically associated with great discomfort.
Right out of college I began working for an ophthalmology practice. This quieted the calling some, as I was able to work with people facing the loss of sight. This is a psychological process that mimics the psychology of dying, and I learned a great deal about working with people, the psychology of loss, healthcare and healthcare advocacy over the last fifteen years. The doula calling did not stay quiet, however. I can only describe this "calling" as the feeling of urgently needing to be somewhere. A tension arose in my body that I could not quiet, even on the most empathy and advocacy rich days in eye care.
About four years ago, I got my first purpose-clue when I sat bedside to my grandfather in his final moments. It was the first time in my life I felt I was using all of myself in service to something; it was the first time I felt like I belonged to the work I was doing. About a year and a half later I sat with the family member of a friend. I realized in a sudden, powerful moment that this is where I so urgently needed to be. I have a degree in philosophy and music from Rutgers, but if I'm being completely honest, it's life that has served (continues to serve) as my actual school. The anonymous calling in me drove me to experiences that taught my heart the nuances of humility and paradox and love, by learning how to occupy spaces of discomfort and uncertainty.
I have learned many things so far in this school of experience. Of these, the most important to me is this: there is no substitute for true compassion. Much of our suffering comes not from the experience itself, but from our isolation in that experience. Because I know what it is to suffer an isolating experience, I can truly walk with you on your journey. Compassion does not just mean I feel for you. It means I will step into your world with you; I will walk the labyrinth of transition with you. I will see you, I will hear you, I will accept you precisely as you are in any given moment.
Now, for the most important detail of my life:
I have a dog named Buddy who is naughty and wonderful and very very handsome. His hobbies include hiking, and finding ingenious ways to break into the garbage cabinet.
CONTACT ME
I am here to offer resources and support. If you or a loved one are seeking the services of a doula, or simply want more information about the end-of-life process, I would love to speak with you. Please fill out your contact information here.